Parents forget their daughter's 33rd birthday, get angry when her boyfriend wishes her 'Happy Birthday' online: 'Not saying anything and then posting about it was passive aggressive'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 11, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Not every birthday is created equally. There are a lot more milestone birthdays when you're a kid versus when you're over 30, and that is directly correlated with how much people care about them, unless, of course, you're still a "birth month" person who insists that everybody celebrate you with reckless abandon when you're fully 37. Still, even if you're turning a totally unremarkable prime number, you would at least expect a phone call or a text from your closest family members wishing you a happy birthday, right? Even if you're not much of a birthday person, it's kind of disappointing to be forgotten or told that your birthday isn't really important because you're too old to be fully celebrated. 

Being forgotten is exactly what happened to a woman who turned 33 recently. Her parents neglected to wish her a happy birthday, and they initially felt super embarrassed and ashamed about this fact. However, when they saw that their daughter's boyfriend had very publically wished her a happy birthday on social media, they changed their tune. They accused her of rubbing their mistake in their faces and alleged that she had ruined the surprise birthday party they planned for her. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10492694784
    via Sergei Solo

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for embarrassing my parents for forgetting my birthday?

    I (F33) just had my birthday last week. The only problem is that no one in my family remembered. My maternal grandfather passed away about a month ago and my entire family (mom, dad, and 2 younger brothers) flew back to my mother's home country for the funeral. I, unfortunately, could
    via u/anon_78912
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    not go as I've only recently started a new job. I wasn't particularly close to my grandfather so I wasn't too upset about staying behind. My family was gone for a total of 22 days and we FaceTimed and stayed in constant communication during their trip. I think it's great that my
    via u/anon_78912
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    mom got to reconnect with family and that my brothers got a chance to meet everyone. They got back last Wednesday and have been readjusting due to jet lag since then (understandably). My birthday was last Friday (2 days) after they got back. TBH, I wasn't expecting more than
    via u/anon_78912
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    birthday wishes from everyone, but the day past without a word from anyone. Was I annoyed? Sure. But I wasn't too upset. I'm not the biggest birthday person. I ended up having a nice birthday dinner with my boyfriend and a few friends. All h I broke loose
    via u/anon_78912
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    Saturday afternoon when I got a really angry phone call from my dad. I guess my boyfriend did a special IG post for me and my brothers saw it and showed my parents. I had no idea he did this as he isn't a big poster. Anyway, I could hear my mom crying in the background while my dad laid into me saying that they were sorry they forgot, but not saying
    via u/anon_78912
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    Cheezburger Image 10492714240
    via Blake Cheek (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    anything and then posting about it online was passive aggressive and mean. I told him that I wasn't upset and that I didn't think a 33rd birthday was that big a deal anyway. He said a few more things before abruptly ending the call. I didn't hear from my family the rest of the weekend. Today
    via u/anon_78912
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    (Monday) I woke up to a bunch of notifications. I guess my mom did a Facebook post talking about ungrateful kids and how I ruined their surprise party for me and tagged me. My extended family seemed to agree that I was a j I've tried calling my mom, but she didn't answer so I posted my own reply and said "You guys forgot
    via u/anon_78912
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    and no one wished me a happy birthday unless you count dad calling and yelling at me". Both of my parents have been calling all morning, but I don't want to take their calls yet. AITA?
    via u/anon_78912
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    Cheezburger Image 10492714496
    via Mushaboom Studio (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Britt Scherrer NTA. Seems like they are trying to make you feel guilty for nothing. Were they really planning a surprise birthday party as per your mom's Facebook post?
    via u/Britt_Scherrer
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    anon_78912 OP I have no idea. I asked my boyfriend about it and he said no one contacted him about it, but who knows.
    via u/anon_78912
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    Fianna9 Doesn't seem likely. If they knew about your birthday and had something planned they would have just asked you over Saturday and "surprise!" Sounds like they are covering up that they forgot by trying to blame you
    via u/Fianna9
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    LingonberryPrior6896 And I am sure they would have brought BF in on the surprise
    via u/LingonberryPrior6896
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    MotherofCrowlings I mean, her believing they forgot her birthday just makes the surprise better, no? Isn't that part of the classic misdirection of a surprise party? Let the birthday girl feel all sad that no one remembered until Surprise! She feels so much more love because of all the effort everyone went
    via u/MotherofCrowlings
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    to. Like putting salt on caramel to make it taste sweeter. If it was true, they would have been rubbing their hands together in glee and cackling about their amazing ability to plan a surprise party while in another country for over 3 weeks and dealing with funeral and estate stuff at the same time.
    via u/MotherofCrowlings
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    fidelises I would maybe believe that if dad hadn't called to yell about the boyfriend's post. They totally forgot. They were just embarrassed and told people they planned a surprise party to save face.
    via u/fidelises
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    themisst1983 On my 11th birthday, nobody in the household got out of bed before I had to go to school. We'd just moved overseas and I was told that the bike my sister and I received was our birthday presents for that year.
    via u/themisst1983
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    It was devastating that nobody bothered with me in the morning. A happy birthday acknowledgement was all I needed. I did end up getting a couple of small things later in the day, but the damage was done. I was heartbroken.
    via u/themisst1983
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    I don't understand the tradition of making people feel like sh and then surprising them. 30 years on and this is one of my strongest birthday memories. How is that a good thing? For anyone still reading, my sister got spoilt months later when it was her birthday.
    via u/themisst1983
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    Caykar1991 They misread the recipe, instead replaced all sugar with salt
    via u/Caykar1991
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    Crosseyed_owl Yeah the post wouldn't make them so angry if they didn't forget. Besides that isn't a surprise party supposed to happen on your birthday? So it looks like everyone forgot and then in the evening bam! A party. Not that nothing happens and the next day you get scolded for an Instagram post that wasn't even yours lol.
    via u/Crosseyed_owl
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    Dschingis Khaaaaan NTA - It's unfortunate but understandable that they may have forgotten given having to deal with your grandfathers passing, though you'd have every right to feel upset about them forgetting too. But boy are they AH for trying to play the victim for their mistake and get everyone to blame you. If the truth of what they did shames them they only have themselves to blame. You didn't call them out, you defended yourself from their lies and manipulations. Good for you and happy bel
    via u/Dschingis_Khaaaaan
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    FitOrFat-1999 NTA. They embarrassed themselves. How do you think they would have reacted if you *had* mentioned it? "Oh don't be such a big baby" "You're too old for this" Etc. And "ruined their surprise birthday party for you"? Yeah, riiiiight.
    via u/FitOrFat-1999

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boyfriend family drama birthdays birthday bad parenting reddit story bad parents family reddit thread daughter parent Reddit parents Parenting FAILS mom
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